Weaving Gold

Mokosha, Anastasia Sophia, and Me, Natalia . . . while the books are written

The Secret to Letting Go

For  years, I’ve been getting the message to let go and allow. Throughout this writing challenge, every card reminds me that it is not the destination, but the journey, that matters; that the time is now; that the work is done; that the going will be easy. Despite the pretty pictures and encouraging rhetoric, despite knowing I’ve come a long way and am living a bountiful, beautiful life, there is something missing. I am not fully engaging with Life.

I’ve been aware that I am not a sheep for a long time. In writing, and in my safe spaces, I roar and embrace my wild side. And then, I step out of authenticity and into the world. I find myself amongst sheep, and I baa. I nod my wooly head and walk along with the herd, bleating, mehhhhh.

Handwriting Reveals Secrets

Vimala Rogers claims that handwriting is a reflection of our innermost thoughts and feelings. Years ago, I studied her books. In recent weeks, I’ve been noticing that I’ve been writing the top loop of my cursive f, closed — not every time, but often enough that it stands out. Today, in preparation for an upcoming event, I pulled out a wrote speech in 1987. This was in the dinosaur age, so I unwittingly held a handwriting sample. I could ignore the call to explore the f no longer. My high-school fs did not have an upper loop at all.

photoI call this The Secretary’s f. The top loop, the area of our own unique creativity, is missing. It is often the “f” of someone who does someone else’s work quite well and thoroughly, but has not opened the treasure chest of her own ideas and put them in motion…it carries the consciousness not of service, but of servitude. (133-132, Your Handwriting Can Change Your Life.)

One of these days, I’ll stop being surprised at the insight tools like handwriting analysis provide. Reading Vimala’s words wasn’t so much an A-ha! moment as a validation. Eleven months ago, I called Joe Rumbolo’s radio show for an aura reading from Pamala Oslie. She was giddy with excitement telling me:

You’re violet-yellow. Violet-yellows are visionaries who dream big and touch many people. But, you think you’re blue-tan. You’ve been living the grounded, practical life of blue-tan.

Okay, I’ve got it!

I’ve certainly taken steps, big and small, toward embracing my True Self. I wrote a book subtitled Discovering Our True Selves. But I’m never totally there. Yes, I know there is no there. It’s a journey. I’m ready for the next leg of the trip.

After two years of hearing, “Let go,” and being frustrated that I don’t know how, I received a new insight today:

If you don’t know how to let go, reach for something new with both hands.

Here I go…

Letting go with both hands. Opening.

The Queen of Water brings a time of unboundedness and gratitude for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands. Neither duty or thought of merit or reward are important. Sensitivity, intuition and compassion are the qualities that shine forth now, dissolving all the obstacles that keep us separate from each other and from the whole. (OSHO Zen Tarot)

 


Inspired by Lyn Thruman‘s October Writing Challenge: Writing the Wisdom of the Soul. I am exhausted and confused, so confused. 

Prompt for October 22: The Devil is the chap who keeps us from living fully because we give that power to him.  We tie ourselves up in materialism, limiting beliefs, our histories, excuses, and fears. The power to be free lies in defeating The Devil —to face the shadows and love him enough to set ourselves free.

Excuses, excuses, excuses. Write about the excuses you give to yourself (or others) so you don’t have to fully engage with life or face your fears.

 

 

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