Weaving Gold

Mokosha, Anastasia Sophia, and Me, Natalia . . . while the books are written

Aware of Myself

0495f949f6d45af589dd208e5a861345Prompt 5: The Emperor is a director and overseer, bringing order where chaos can reign supreme.  He’s logic, reason, experience, and boundary protection. Write about where you could use the energy of The Emperor to protect your boundaries. Where are you allowing energy or time leaks to occur?

October 7, 2014: Chaos is reigning in my beautiful, orderly life. It is rampaging through every cell in my body. It is wreaking havoc, destroying every idea and ideal that I’ve held.

October 27, 2015: I have been leaking, bleeding, energy and time, for almost four years. I have been purged, emptied, and depleted. My boundaries have kept me safe, and isolated. No thing and no persons were allowed in, even when I yearned to be nourished, replenished, and connected. The Emperor did his job well.

Now is the time to be the Emperor. I do not need to fight against anybody or anything. I am rising. My true nature is revealed. I shall live in accordance with my magnificence.

“One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time.”
― Madeleine L’EngleA Circle of Quiet

Writing Prompt from Lyn Thurman. You can receive the full prompts from Writing the Wisdom of the Soul.

Images are from the Osho Zen Tarot, an amazing, consciousness-expanding deck.

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Deviating from Script

Stage . by SeaFairy Photography / Darkroom©2007-2014 SeaFairy (via DeviantArt)

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts…

~ William Shakespeare, As You Like It

Plays to celebrate Christmas, Easter, spring, and the end of the school year. Poems to commemorate great Ukrainian poets (Taras Shevchenko, Ivan Franko, Lesia Ukrainka, Vasyl Symonenko, Lina Kosetenko). Greeting dignitaries. Bandura concerts. Piano recitals.

In my growing-up years, I found many occasions to step up onto a stage and perform. That I did not enjoy performing, was not relevant. My cooperation was expected. I was responsible (I would certainly know my lines) and presentable (I spoke Ukrainian well and my mother would assure that I appeared in the correct outfit). That was enough.

Learning the poems and lines was easy for me. But when it came time to step onto the stage, or to face the visiting dignitary, my stomach would roil and my heart would race. I felt ill, even though I knew my part and had practiced it repeatedly.

I finally realized (yesterday), that I do not wish to play a role prescribed by another. I do not wish to recite words someone More Important Than I wrote or that someone in a position of authority directed me to say. I am ready to choose my own role and speak my own words.

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